Random musings from my office desk

Sometimes it scares me how I try to drown myself with work. My mom said I’m a workaholic, I, on the other hand think differently. I don’t think I am a workaholic… I think, I am motivated to work because I get paid. Yes, money maybe one of my greatest motivations. Which is really, REALLY bad! I know I shouldn’t be motivated by mere money, but I think it’s because I am badly in need. I need to buy a new phone, my old phone’s really battered. Plus I need to pay my “debt” from my dad. Hahahaha yes, I borrowed money from my dad and I need to pay for it. Tsk!

I think another reason why I want to work is because of the… “inspiration”. hahahaha Let’s call him “CRUSH”. Weird no? Just like in high school, you go to school because you want to see your crush, that’s how I am now. Gahd! I wanna seriously squeal and jump up and down. I get butterflies in my stomach and I start giggling like a high school girl. Uh-oh. It’s just a crush. Nothing serious. Happy crush! πŸ™‚

Hmm. I honestly don’t know why I am suddenly blogging. I have work today and tomorrow. So no weekend for me. I’ve already prepared myself to the fact that I won’t be able to sleep for 12 hours like a bum. 😦 Boohoo. Oh well, at least I have money… See what I told you! OMG! This can’t be. NOOOOOOO!

I enjoy my job, as in! I like what I’m doing. Ever since I was a kid, I told myself that I want to become a “journalist”, I guess now is the fulfillment of my lifelong dream.

I was in a fork road months before I accepted this job. I would already start training for a production house when I got a call from this company. I was super confused on what I should take. So after pondering and questions from family and friend, I chose this job.

But before I accepted this job, I asked my friend who’s a director and much older than me on what I should do.Β  I told him that this is my dream ever since I was a kid. And he told me, “Go for the dream then. Pero dami talagang hurdles kapag gusto mo dream mo. (There are really a lot of hurdles if you want your dream.)” And then he said another thing that would be forever in my mind. I would never ever forget what he said to me. I even saved his message to always remind me dreams. “At the same token, life brings us more than just our dreams. Sometimes even better.”

My dreams wouldn’t stop here. I would continue dreaming. Dream of much bigger and better things for me.

Sorry these are just random things on my mind. I’ve been “soul-searching” lately, not that I want to leave my job, but I just want to find myself. I do enjoy my life right now, I enjoy it a lot. But at the same time, I feel like I’m slowly losing myself. I just want to find myself. I feel like I’ve changed A LOT! I know change is the only constant thing in the world, but not all change is good. Hai. I really don’t know what I’m typing anymore. I’m kind of lost, but yes, that’s what I feel. Forgive me.

WORD VOMIT!

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