Just like Jenna Hamilton in the TV show Awkward, I am invisible. My life isn’t as,err… exciting as hers; no “care-frontation” letter, no sleeping with a guy or dating, nor a quite irresponsible mom. My life is just pretty normal. But this life feels terribly like I’m a trashy soap opera. Honestly, I don’t know why I am writing this again. I feel like an emo or something. Maybe because I just finished watching the first season of Awkward and I have a hangover…Jake withdrawal, maybe. But whatever it is, I suddenly had this urge of posting something on this blog.
I just read Jenna’s blog and I would just quote some stuff that hit close to home…
In the movie “Sixteen Candles”, it took her awhile, but Molly Ringwald figured it out. Lesson learned: you shouldn’t be afraid to be who you are, because even hot guys will like you if you like yourself. Clearly, I had been going about things all wrong. How was I supposed to be accepted by everybody else when I hadn’t even accepted myself? – Bitter of Sweet Sixteen
“As you are now, you could disappear and no one would notice.” I wish it were true. – Take Care
Someone once said that it’s choice, not chance, that determines our destiny. My head made the choice to end things with Matty. But my heart…
…my heart was still waiting for the chance that my head might…reconsider.
Did I screw up my destiny? Or was my fate supposed to stink?
…One door to my heart had closed. Which meant a new one could open. And Jake was more than welcome to walk through it. – Choice vs. Chance
Someone once said that it’s choice, not chance, that determines our destiny. But it was hard for me to process who would ever choose to find what I found.
It was chance. – BLOG DOWN UNDER FURTHER NOTICE
Maybe this is love woes again. Really, why the hell am I feeling this way? This is pathetic and honestly it makes me desperate. HAI!
Can I write a short letter for my crush, which me and my friend gave a code name of Yoda.
Though we are not that close, I am really happy that we talk. I really am wondering why I like you. I am not saying that you’re not good enough, I’m just curious why all of a sudden I started liking you. It feels kind of weird… whenever I see you, my stomach starts flipping, my heart beats faster and I become ultra concerned with how I look. Of course, this is just a crush, but it just affects the whole of me when I think that you’re courting someone. It’s not like I would die if you’re dating someone, but it just makes me feel sad. Because for once a guy who I’m crushing on, is actually talking to me. You’re nice, as in really nice, maybe that’s why I like you. I like you, not in a creepy way. I’m trying so hard to impress you, that sometimes it all feels so unreal. Maybe this is all rambling. This is just so weird. Honestly, never have I felt something like this for a guy. Yes, I’ve had crushes, but this one is different. Sort of unreal. For once, I felt that I had a chance to be with someone. Someone who would love me, someone who would take care of me and someone who would make me happy.
I guess, I was just living in a fairy tale and reality had just set in. It had hit me really hard, like a brick was thrown at me. As cliche as it may sound, you’re so near, yet so far. Maybe, I was just too darn stubborn to admit that you like someone.
This is all new to me. I can’t explain what I fell or why I am feeling this. All I know is that I’m too damn jealous of whoever your always texting. Hello, I’m here. Can’t you see me? 😦
Sorry for the random posts, but I just needed to let that out. I can’t just tell my friends straight about what the hell I’m thinking/feeling. RAWR!
Yes, I just gave him the code name Yoda, because he’s a fan of Star Wars!