Quarter-life Crisis by Brenda Della Casa


They call it the “Quarter-life Crisis.” It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn’t know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren’t exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don’t recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren’t really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job… and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn’t. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can’t meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren’t a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself… and while winning the race would be great, right now you’d just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.



17 thoughts on “Quarter-life Crisis by Brenda Della Casa

  1. This is such a great post. Completely true.

    The best of times and the worst of times. Maybe it always is. But we’ve just got to hang in there.

    I just watched this Elizabeth Gilbert TED talk and she says kudos to all of us for ‘just having the sheer human love and stubbornness to keep showing up’. Your post and this comment…it all helps to feel reassured that you’re not alone in this madness.

    Thanks for posting.


    1. You’re welcome! It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one feeling this way. I hope that I get through this once and for all. 🙂


  2. I can relate to this very strongly . Everything i knew to be true has turned upside down. People close to me are no longer around or keep in touch , where i’ve gone on a limb to help them out not even a year back. The ones i haven’t kept in touch with , i realize now are the ones who can help me with my career . I’m the highest paid amongst my college batchmates, right out of college and yet unsure about where i’ll be ending up 2 years down the line .

    Whats uncanny is i was penning down thoughts not too different from the ones expressed here and I’ve used the exact same words to start with ” random musings ” / “my story so far ” , that’s not the only connection , i’m going through all the everything you’ve mentioned in the blog !

    Kudos to well written piece Gelalex .

    And i do hope we make it through in one piece.


    1. As much as I want to take credit for this awesome piece, I cannot. I just saw this on my friend’s Tumblr and decided to repost it here.

      Yes, I do hope we out of this muck in one piece.


  3. It is exactly how i feel about my life, so i presume everyone is going to this crisis so how would we come out.


    1. I guess everyone goes through, we only have different situations. It’s just nice to know that I’m not going through this alone and that there are people who can relate to me. We’ll come out alive, though a bit harmed, but I’m pretty sure we’ll learn from it.


    1. I cannot take credit for something I did not write. But I’ll take credit for reposting it, so you’re welcome.


  4. I agree with most points. But, isn’t the verdict itself a question?
    There are somethings which aren’t the same in everyone’s life. We come across a pattern when we want to believe our worries, emotions or obstacles are the biggest in the world.
    This is when the mid life crisis becomes the real bitch. While some are lying on the bed wondering whether there is love for them. Some are running away from the very thought.
    As for career, only fear people have is failure. Failure to deliver at a good job or failure to even get one.
    Its only now we take ourselves seriously.
    So for me, the mid life waffle is only another name for a wake up call. Or a raincheck.


  5. just few days back i started my job with India’s no 1 IT company and i never knew and never wanted to be in this place and it is exactly the thing i never thought i would be doing ever.
    its like you wrote(copied) whatever is going in my mind.
    amazing 🙂


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